Who AM I?

I'm glad I've got a friends list like you, friends list.

Now, I'm reasonably certain everyone who's ever spent any time at all connected to the Internet in any meaningful fashion since Google appeared has tried this game already, but it's still a foolishly amusing way to wile away some precious, precious time.

The rules are simple. On Google, type "[nomenclature] is", with the quotes intact but with your preferred name in place of the bit in brackets.

You should feel free to fine-tune your name until you get some amusing results. I know I did after "Chakraoffish", "Chakra of Fish", and "Wheeloffish" turned up nothing at all and "Wheel of Fish" turned up 12 bizarrely-phrased bits from reviews of UHF.

From the results you cull some really entertaining phrases by trimming irrelevant leading words. Then post your favorite, oh, 23 or so. Or just 1. Or none. What am I going to do, come to your house and break your fingers with a heavy iron skillet if you don't? I can't even afford bus fare across town right now.

So, ladies and gentlemen, a little bit of philosophical frippery that we like to call:

Wheel is ...

Wheel is a visual representation of color theory.

Wheel is out of balance.

Wheel is dated late second Millenium BCE and was excavated at Choqa Zanbil.

Wheel is a depiction of existence with all its conditions and circumstances.

Wheel is the spectacular centrepiece.

Wheel is immersed in a tank of liquid.

Wheel is reliable only within certain latitudes.

Wheel is a gaming piece that will pinch the hell out of a wallet.

Wheel is sometimes zero.

Wheel is an ideal tool for the beginner stargazer.

Wheel is silent, pumps about a litre a minute, goes 24 hours a day, has only one small moving part, and works on an ancient principle.

Wheel is a measure of how much energy you've expended.

Wheel is equipped with seven camera optics.

Wheel is free for any use.

Wheel is held by Yama, the Lord of Death.

Wheel is simply a way of making sacred space more real and more visible.

Wheel is held stationary.

Wheel is traditionally used to help ward off the influence of evil spirits.

Wheel is large and can be heavy when all the filters are installed.

Wheel is located on a narrow ridge (arete) overlooking two cirques.

Wheel is so rapid as to be startling.

Wheel is to be ridden immediately.

Wheel is unbeatable.